In our real estate list and sell job in Maine, we provide a service to buyers and sellers.
When you deal with the public you continuously adjust to meet the need in the best way possible to get positive results for everyone. That’s the goal every real estate sale.You put your whole self in and turn it all about. Hey. That’s what it’s all about right?
No one said it is always easy. And every seller, buyer in real estate wants to feel like their property listing or sale is the only one I am working on. But all people are like snowflakes and wired very differently. Emotions can run high when are approaching closing deadlines, develop a glitch in the family relocation move plans and financial strain is often involved.
You find out a lot about yourself, others too when pressure increases and the heat of life gets turned up to test everyone involved in a real estate sale.
Especially ones that get to a critical stage and the property closing is threatened to ever happening.
Round the clock personal service like the waiter or waitress at the local eatery who just knows when to visit the table without being too attentive.
That’s what is needed, attention to detail without being obnoxious. To keep paddling. So everyone stays in the boat on the floating journey to the real estate closing safe harbor. It is a joy to have the elderly widow who trusts you to handle the listing sale as if you were family close related.
And the young couple who needs guidance in their first home buying foray lean on their real estate professional pretty hard.They are giddy and scared at the same time because they want to stop renting but worry about financing big numbers, carry the mortgage for up to thirty years. And juggling the other payment demands in the monthly budget that is pretty lean and mean in the accumulation stage of their life on Earth. So there is lots of conversation to assure, to guide the way to the sit down real estate closing to make it as stress free smooth, as rock bottom inexpensive as I can.
But aside from the nuances of every particular real estate deal, there are basic emotions to recognize and understand. So the real estate sale stays on course to a successful closing.
The one where the buyer and seller exchange well wishes, get up, smile, shake hands and head out of the closing conference room to hit the parking lot. Slide behind the wheel and get on to the next stop in their life.
Where does anger, frustration come from inside a person? The kind that can swell up and bubble over into a messy, painful full boil. Delay, patience to deal with setbacks are easier to swallow when they are talked about before they happen.
Like a medical operation, a legal proceeding, it helps to understand the what, why, how of any real estate event early on.
Or watching the coach by the chalk board and pointing at all the circles. Or holding up the play plans for the second half standing in front of the sweaty group holding helmets. In the locker room explaining the plays that lead to a pig skin touch down, hockey puck goal and those defensive moves to avoid being sacked, checked into the boards or skunked for a score when the buzzer rings and that’s all she wrote. End of game win or lose. Line up and shake hands.
Don’t have to like the chain of events but not losing your cool, keeping your smooth composure because we are all adults. Recognizing why these flare ups happen means real estate 101 education has to be shared around the listing at the home kitchen table with the seller. In the Jeep ride to a property showing with a real estate buyer.
The communication never stops because the pathway from the listing to the real estate closing is not always dotted line easy to follow.
And the direction of the property sale is influenced by the buyer, seller, layers of players involved in the sale and life events. That all get stirred together for better or worse.Add a buyer who is over booked to the max, a seller that is facing a divorce hearing, etc and that’s the basis for a challenging pair to get to dance together smoothly.
We try to round off the rough edges, to shorten the list of demands to arrive at common ground. A compromise is where no one is handstand happy but a solution is worked out to move on in life.
Attacking problems, not judging people works best in ironing out the kinks and wrinkles of a real estate sale.
Keep your eye on the ball. Stay in the game and be professional in the jealous sport of real estate.
That wants all your attention. No place for a bully or saber rattling, even though drawing a line in the sand has to happen when all else fails.
And tired, bloody buyers and sellers in a buck board bumpy, drawn out real estate sale throw in the towel. You need everyone to keep preserve the sale to stay on board. Not always happen but present and accounted for to finish up what they signed on for back when the purchase and sale agreement had wet blue ink applied in all the right spaces and places.
What is holding up a property listing sale now needs fresh, current information and constant contact with all those pulling and pushing the levers that are involved in making a listing a sold statistic for the real estate appraisers to use for comparables in future valuation assignments.
Out of town bank mortgage lenders, title companies too don’t help the herd speed into the closing corral. What call financial home mortgage lenders and title company gypsies are slow, the details foggy when trying to find something new to report to move the sale along. Or at least find out why it is stalled and dead in the water without bleeding out. As precious hours, days or weeks spent with the property listing off the market hurts the buyer and seller. When both could and should move on and get off dead center.
For the real estate seller to entertain another stronger buyer with a local lender or better yet cash in hand to make the purchase quickly. And for a buyer ready to roll moves to another property that does not have title, occupancy, appraisal or whatever issue that blows the sale out of the water. And someone has to holler loudly “Next”. To find a better all around fit in the property listing buying, selling matchmaking exercise.
Anger is defined as a feeling that starts, builds in to how we interpret and react to certain situations.
Everyone has their own set of triggers for what makes them see red like a bull being teased.
Any situations where you or I feel threatened, attacked. frustrated or powerless spills into the reality of what is actually going on around us.
It is my job to relay what is actually happening and why. The what are their for options to fix what is throwing the real estate sale off course. But it helps when a buyer or seller can shift from “don’t tell me what to do” to the point of realizing why everyone has to dig in and do their part like it or not. To preserve the sale’s progress and avoid derailment which means start from square one and begin again.
During a recent state of Maine REALTOR convention last fall, in the break out for lunch session the table discussion was on anger in real estate sales.
I am a broker owner and others in the same boat as the designated license hanging on the office wall to shepherd the flock, all could agree.
One fellow Maine REALTOR quoted that over he had read 60% of a poll of American adults quizzed reported they were filled with angry, irritable feelings more than not in life. And that the study also found that number was an increase of over half since an earlier poll of the same group members from just a year previous.
I think the increasing anger, being fed up and low on patience it is tied to the fact eight out of ten people live in a city like it or not. They are not happy. Their surroundings don’t help contentment.
(My little pitch for small town simple living in Maine trumping life in the bright lights, big city hustle bustle that wears thin on those doing the time under all that pressure.)
Personally, in thirty eight years of listing and selling real estate in Maine, I have found that buyers and sellers have a harder time considering the other in the hammering out a decision that is the best solution possible. More one sided happens and I blame it on buyer agency, lawyers who encourage litigate and fight for more than is fair.
With a shoot for the stars and hope for the moon approach.
When something fair and simple going in removes the desire to “beat someone” and force them to go above and beyond what is reasonable. And last week I heard the term “micro aggression” mixed in with talk about bullies on an NPR radio show on the way to a listing showing a few towns away from our real estate office.
When a person thinks what is not the true reality of the situation, and they take something small personally by blowing it up bigger than life. That process is something to recognize. Not to be a shrink but a little Dr Phil in empathy and understanding.
Microaggression as defined as a degradation, erosion and centered around race, religion, culture but has expanded to blossom into other areas of thinking and judgement.
Anger in real estate transactions can happen when a seller who does not want to let go of his property has to let go.
Doesn’t like it, is a little touchy and a couple years behind on property taxes, the listing maintenance.
And when a buyer points out the place needs a roof, some paint he does not like the criticism. Even though it is just stating a fact of something the new buyer is going to need to address if they hope to get a bank loan clear to close memo.
So being sensitive to buyers who are in one major hurry and maybe just got beat out in the last two home bidding wars during a hot market.
And sellers during a difficult real estate playing field who are a little grumpy for their state of affairs and being up against it financially or in the middle of a divorce, pink slip from work lay off or job termination. They all add up to what the real estate professsional has to work with today boys and girls. Above and beyond a charming or not so appealing personality that everyone is attracted to or runs away from in life.
Let’s face it. Toxic people exists, difficult situations in life can transform the sweetest, nicest person into someone snarling and snarky.
Hard times make hard people in real estate buying and selling.
If a seller is in foreclosure, the shame of moving out with his family and into whatever they can find to accommadate their kids is not something all of us have to face. The seller who over improves in the wrong areas for resale can also get angry at the agent or broker who shows them the true value today for their property.
When they start to holler about “not going to give it away” a calm response that this is the value today and they are welcome to get a second opinion.
But we all know from experience over priced property listings don’t sell. And taking a listing that can not be sold is not setting the right expectation for the seller. Who for awhile thinks they can get above market value and hope a bank appraiser will go along with the inflated sales price that comes in too low to keep the transaction together.
Anger hurts your health, relationships, and saying no to an obstinate buyer or seller as a real estate agent or broker is an option. Take the listings that will sell if marketed properly. I think it is best to avoid the ones that won’t and don’t fight with buyers on their third agency trying to fine too much property for too little.
Avoiding angry buyers and sellers who blame others for their problems rather than hammering out the best solution possible in the partnership with their real estate professional makes what we do fruitful, rewarding and way way less stressful.
Welcome to our Maine real estate website. I am the father of four grown children, have listed, marketed, sold properties for over forty years. Lots of changes in the real estate industry over that many decades and daily we re-invent our job. I grew up on a Maine farm that I bought from by three older brothers. My youngest son continues in the tradition on that same Maine farm. Here to help with property searches for homes, farms, land, waterfront, multi housing rentals, small mom and pop business listings.